We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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