I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Plan B is the new Plan A
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
