two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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