SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
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We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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