my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
