Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
