shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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