how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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