He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
