So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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