I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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