I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
