I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
