haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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