Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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