Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld

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  (407): You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld http://tfl.nu/gdg6
  Replies (51) Good night (3735) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.

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  (513): You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/utqj
  Replies (35) Good night (8563) Bad night (1576)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.

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  (860): you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance. http://tfl.nu/1cpz
  Replies (16) Good night (8516) Bad night (1392)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now

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  (406): let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now http://tfl.nu/70jp
  Replies (2) Good night (2854) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent

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  (856): I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent http://tfl.nu/ara2
  Replies (6) Good night (2612) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  when I sang my humps to you I meant it.

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  (419): when I sang my humps to you I meant it. http://tfl.nu/9lvg
  Replies (2) Good night (3427) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.

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  (662): This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever. http://tfl.nu/lkca
  Replies (5) Good night (3078) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.

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  (973): I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes. http://tfl.nu/85jv
  Replies (9) Good night (2584) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.

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  (304): I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud. http://tfl.nu/1ldm
  Replies (8) Good night (2350) Bad night (1248)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.

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  (602): As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by. (208): I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby. http://tfl.nu/looi
  Replies (7) Good night (1740) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.

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  (248): If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is. http://tfl.nu/p0ib
  Replies (15) Good night (2758) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.

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  (937): I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart. http://tfl.nu/okmj
  Replies (15) Good night (2177) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.

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  (313): Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man. http://tfl.nu/vwyk
  Replies (6) Good night (936) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.

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  (337): Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment. http://tfl.nu/4czr
  Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.

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  (734): Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink. http://tfl.nu/pqtj
  Replies (1) Good night (343) Bad night (789)

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