Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
