The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
