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• (443): View more from Maryland

  so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse

  (914): View more from New York

  so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though

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• (206): View more from Washington

  i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.

  (425): View more from Washington

  for sure. did you let him do it?

  (206): View more from Washington

  thats not the point.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.

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• (631): View more from New York

  So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,

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• (979): View more from Texas

  A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Gonna be tough to beat that next year!

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE

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• (979): View more from Texas

  Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.

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• (845): View more from New York

  So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off

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