Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (846): View more from

  He asked to "fluff my boner.."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (846): He asked to "fluff my boner.." http://tfl.nu/m6cj
  Replies (3) Good night (651) Bad night (1698)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo http://tfl.nu/7wt5
  Replies (35) Good night (4095) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series http://tfl.nu/wka4
  Replies (95) Good night (1111) Bad night (3587)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person http://tfl.nu/xc27
  Replies (25) Good night (8209) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  where does the pee come out of this thing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): where does the pee come out of this thing http://tfl.nu/pebd
  Replies (13) Good night (736) Bad night (4625)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hannah Montana > iCarly

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Hannah Montana > iCarly (309): I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely http://tfl.nu/uzzz
  Replies (49) Good night (1355) Bad night (5206)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement http://tfl.nu/oky4
  Replies (12) Good night (4803) Bad night (1470)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter http://tfl.nu/eba3
  Replies (36) Good night (1998) Bad night (5654)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her http://tfl.nu/jaz5
  Replies (39) Good night (8597) Bad night (1419)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7? http://tfl.nu/xrb5
  Replies (9) Good night (2458) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs. http://tfl.nu/lvji
  Replies (2) Good night (1335) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts

  (1-631): View more from New York

  Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts (1-631): Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships? http://tfl.nu/5hoq
  Replies (19) Good night (2145) Bad night (1389)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me. http://tfl.nu/zzjd
  Replies (9) Good night (587) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard. http://tfl.nu/j9hb
  Replies (15) Good night (1011) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out. http://tfl.nu/biah
  Replies (5) Good night (484) Bad night (295)

Randomize