There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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