So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.