i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
