His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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