You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.