Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back