i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Enjoy the penises