I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
