I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
