I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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