is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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