did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Congratulations! We have a period
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