someone owes me an orgasm
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
