my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I need moral support for this bender
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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