All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
