I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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