I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I know her cup size but not her name....
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