My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
