billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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