Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
