Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
