A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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