So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just had sex on a roof
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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