Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
