i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
