I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
