Please, let me fuck your mom
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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