11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
