i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
