Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
