u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
