Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
it's like iHOP with fire
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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