I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
