i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
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