i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
NoShamevember. You game?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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