i just had sex bonerless
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
