I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Still dying that you shit outside
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
