He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize