I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
