Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
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Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
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The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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