And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
