I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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